The Unemployable Parts

I only get weird with scotch

Missing

I can’t find my copy of What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, and I for real feel like it’s a terrible omen.

Mid-Twenties are Great, Guys

I’m going broke spending money on weddings that aren’t mine. 

If I’m not married in the next 10 years, do I get to throw myself a spite shower where everyone has to buy me a KitchenAid?

Life Lessons

Tinder has taught me that if I gain anything in this life, it will not be because of my intelligence, skills, or general wherewithal. It will be because of my hair. 

It’s weeks like this I’m glad the bar cart is full stocked.

It’s weeks like this I’m glad the bar cart is full stocked.

FUCKING SHIT

Drinking a serious amount of wine after watching a documentary on Jonestown. 

Let’s all be cool, people. Let’s all just be cool. 

Umphrey’s McGee at Summerfest.

Umphrey’s McGee at Summerfest.