The Unemployable Parts

I only get weird with scotch

Sheldon

You were an absolute gift. Thank you, for your boundless kindness, generosity, and spirit. Thank you, for showing the world how to be a first class human being. Thank you, for giving me and everyone at Second City a home.Thank you, for everything.

Apparently laser tag guns don’t recognize an accent aigu because it’s BeyoncÉ.

Apparently laser tag guns don’t recognize an accent aigu because it’s BeyoncÉ.

No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring. Stay with me while we grow old, and we will live each day in springtime. #Lovinyou #iseasycauseyourebeautiful

No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring. Stay with me while we grow old, and we will live each day in springtime. #Lovinyou #iseasycauseyourebeautiful

labaedeker replied to your photo:Not even when the room went dark. #raymondcarver

Hey funny girl, do you read Charles Baxter stories? Because you should. Please go out and by “Gryphon” and read the first story, asap.

YES. This is something I need to do. My first introduction to Baxter was through a great collation of short stories, Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules, edited by David Sedaris. I love what I’ve read thus far.

Keep the book recommendations coming, sweet tumblr people!

Not even when the room went dark. #raymondcarver

Not even when the room went dark. #raymondcarver

Chicago theaters will dim lights

A touching tribute for these beautiful talents. 

It has been an impossible few days for many of the people I love. If you could, send a bit of your heart to Chicago. 

Because we were unable to order words in a way that would properly illuminate what an atrocity Ray Rice is, Julia and I decided to plan our wedding instead. 

Because we were unable to order words in a way that would properly illuminate what an atrocity Ray Rice is, Julia and I decided to plan our wedding instead. 

Went on a first date, and at the end of the night, he gave me a rose. Instead of saying thank you, I instinctively said “I feel like I’m on the Bachelor.” I’m hoping he knows I meant it in the best possible way.

Went on a first date, and at the end of the night, he gave me a rose. Instead of saying thank you, I instinctively said “I feel like I’m on the Bachelor.” I’m hoping he knows I meant it in the best possible way.

allthewhiskeyinheaven:

Breaking: New study confirms women from Venus, men actually cobbled together from contents of a single Dumpster in Glendale, AZ.